7 posts from October 2008

well didnt go on ma date on sunday cuz starr decided she wanted to go to 6 service and dee had to be at work at 4 so we said we'd try 4 this sunday aint much happening but lemme tell uu shawty downstairs tried to get salty wit me cuz ii had to run to silver spring the other day to pic up ma chec and he was a lil tight that ii aint call  him when ii got in.....hmmm iim starting to wonder when did ii get ties to this nigga cuz he aint doin shit 4 me so ii see no reason to tell him of my comings and goings!! && 4 real  not that ii need to explain maself but that day ii had a headache that lasted from 6 service to the next afternoon.so ii really wasnt tryna be bothered but yea he text em this mornin and ii aint answer fuck that nucca...0o0 yea their is something worth talkin bout ii cut gray loose yesterday cuz that nigga is too much of  a headache!! ii swear every convo ii have with him is a fight to the  death and he was a kewl friend bac in skool but he too much now so ii was like delete ma number act like uu neva knew me cuz uu not worth it 4 real he is so damn antagonizing and he cant see it he steadily tryna tell me how grown up he is but still acting so childish...now ii got the nerve to be feeling bad lol but 4 real ii cudnt handle that nigga he was so childish and argumentative and  took everything to heart evry convo ii had to spend time explaining to him that ii meant nuffin by wat ii said and then he started disrespecting me yesterday calling me a nigga and shit and then ii tried to send him bac his lil forward and he going respond why the fuck would uu send me that...sorry ii dont stand 4 disrespect o yea yesterday was the day ii went on da field trip with ma babiez it  was quite fun we went to the museum of natural history had a ball

yea ii def  stood q-tip face up last nite cuz he always tell me to stay up cuz he goin call me rite bac and never does and he did that mess las nite && plus idk ive lost major interest since da first time ii saw him prolly cuz his phone was off 4 a min and he escaped ma mind 4 a bit but yea marcus jux tole me he had a sex dream bout && ii tole him it was disturbing cuz ii aint eem thinking bout his ass in da sack and that makes things awkward cuz that mean sumwhere in da bac in his mind he wanna do me ....&& thas jux not an option...EVER!!! lol ii almost 4got me && dee's playdate is this wknd ii noe we sposed to go bowling 4 sure but besides that...hasnt quite been worked out...but yea this man was at da  bust stop complimenting me on ma hair and then alerted me that onna ma  trax was sliding but he meant no harm ii noe thats 4 sure but he cuda tole me on da slip slide ya know!!! lol

yea so um q tip face called me las nite feenin to see me once again talkin bout whenva im free he free so ii tole him i'd met him at arundal mills on weds so ii can kill to birds wit one stone and jux catch da bus to work but yea when ii was picking up ma chec frm silver spring yesterday ii came bac && was walking to da bus and this ignorant ass negro was like o00o00o0o0 Monique! Monique! callin me dat shit yo ii was so heated he was mad rude && disrespectful oooo i was tight as hell talking bout hey big girl ii ignored it but as ii was standing there ii was gettin more mad and wanted to cut his ass but ii aint have ma box cutter!!!!! cuz aint noe tellin wat ii wuda done ii mean cmon im pretty sure i dnt look like fuckin ass monique but anywhoo ii saw desiree  and anthony on da bus and we all rode together jux reminicing and shyt ti was kinda fun ii wasnt sure how anthony was bout to react to me but yea...lol which reminds me when ii tole them wat ii did anthony bust out laffin cuz the joke iis i was a kid wit behavioral probs yea...they had a good ole laff about that!!! lol and then anthony was talkin bout the time ii jumped outta da window and there was a big ole hole in da ground he was exaggerattin lol but we was having a good ole laff on dat bus ii tell uu but everybody wsa all gettin in our convo ii swaer that was annoyin as hell and iit was this ladee who was at arundal mills one time talkin ma dam head off!! ii swear white ppl always onna tell they dam life story

yea still havent heard from darryl yup its a done deal ii presume....but im actually takin it pretty well ii mean ii expected myself to be fallin apart but its quite the opposite u noe.there's nothing ii can do iif sum1 dont feel da same about me and ii accept that this time ii didnt do anything wrong ii gave it my all tried to overcome obstacles wit him and ii cant say im at fault this time.this is all his doin it wasnt like ii was tryna trap him into bein wit me ii jux wanted sum reaasurance.the only thing that does hurt is that it ended like this ii mean ii cant wrap ma mind around the fact why he would carry things like this ii wuda been satisfied with juc friendship but now thas not eem an option cuz friends dnt treat each other like this...

sooooo ii grew sum balls today and asked darryl how he felt about me....and his answer was ii dnt noe.that hurt ii cant eem lie ii mean we been talkin 4 6 months now thas half a dam year and all this time he aint gotta thought or feeling bout me then he tole me if im lookin for a relationship he cant give that to me rite now..thas nt where i was cumin from tho ii jux needed to noe that ii wasnt in this alone and that everything ii was feeling was not in vain...but ii guess it was.then ii tole him im jux lost as to wat he feel or think about me::: no reply...then well im pretty sure how ii feel about uu:::::no reply....so ii guess we jux friends then?::::no reply damn ii cant eem get the courtesy of gettin an answer.....it hurt tho ii was at the bus stop tryna hold it in tho ii wanted to cry.ii was eating then loss ma damn appetite ii fought so hard for that thing ii cant understand yy he dont want me noe more...he jux dont want me no more urrgghhhh it hurts and ii cant help feel responsible cuz im thinkin that maybe this is all because of what happened wit the phone but when uu realli think about iit ii did it fir the same reason.darryl dont tell me nothing iii cant get him to verbalize anything to me so ii thought the onli way ii cud remotely know anything was to look at his phone....ii didnt see this one coming shyt ii felt ii shuda kept ma mouth shut && let it ride. but then ii wudnt have known he truth......ii wanted this one to ls cuz ii noe he such a good dude it's killing me inside that he dnt...he dnt...he jux dnt yall ima miss him.he was so sweet.ii jux dont know how to fix things...ever ii really thought we was gon overcome things and liv happily eva after....well nt all dat but yea.
so ii guess this goodbye darryl.............

yea nuffin much to say iii havent realli been talkin to darryl idk k that whole txt mssg thing got me feelin weird and he aint bother to text me either these past couple days but ii think this might be the end cuz ii was thinking bout this whole situation and ii realli care about him but im holding on and got ma feeling into a person who ii dnt eem noe wat his feelings are towards me ii mean ii got niggas wantin to be with me that show iit and ii noe iit but with darryl ii mean i dnt noe if this will ever lead to anything....do he eem see me as a potential mate??? ii mean im fightin for and ridin out for  something ii cant put a label on cuz ii dnt eem noe wat we got it's a big question mark hanging over us ii mean 4 real.ii can teem tell if he want me or not and this is not me trying to tie him down and make him be wit me ii jux need sum clarity on the situation cuz ii dnt eem noe wat uu can define us as.and if there aint no future jux let me noe.cuz im feelin like ii cant move on cuz ii got so much feelings tied up in you.but iim not tryna stay iif ii aint remotely watchu want. as timid as ii am ii think on this one ima jux have to cum out and say wats on ma mind cuz im not sure bout anything.

Mediocre day called outta work with a fake *cough cough* cold lol hung out wit janis at her house til iit was time to

play this cach flow game which was pretty interesating then ii heard about this company called ii dnt know how ii 4got

the name that face lol but it piqued ma interst as far as being a customer && representative but thas all up to god.but

yea being as tho ii have no healthcare they offer vitamins and such that really would eb beneficial to ma immune

system so maybe i'll sav up a couple dollars and invest...marcus wanted me to cum over and chill las nite but asnt

reallii into iit especially not stayin da nite...dam fool lol tole him ii might give him a call tonite but not sure yet yup

momy dukes cum bac 2moro kinda miss ha and thas all folks